If You’re Not Changing…You Don’t Want It Enough

Change Is Possible, Not Easy

Commercials on TV tell you all the time that you can change yourself. In thirty seconds, the commercial actors can get smarter, thinner, prettier, richer. But this fantasy world only sets us up for a fall.

We hear about the possibilities for wonderful changes people can make in their lives, and we want to duplicate those results. When we try and are not quickly regarded, we actually wind up feeling worse than we did before we started.

The problem is, of course, that change is possible, but it does not come immediately. Nobody want to sell us a program for change that will take years because of course no one would buy it. But it does take years to accomplish the most important changes.

When you entered the first grade, you didn’t expect to learn a second language, algebra, and the history of the War of 1812 all in the first week. You began an education that took more than a decade and provided you with incredible positive change.

Positive change in your life will not be finished today, but it can start today.

The decision to make a change offers wonderful feelings of control and optimism, but those are short-lived if the change is not accomplished. Repeated efforts at self-change, characterized by an expectation of an unrealistically high payoff in an unrealistically short time, actually reduce satisfaction with our lives by 40%. Polivy and Herman 2000.”

[From 100 Simple Secrets Series]

My Take:

Arright, forreally tho, here’s my take. If you’re not making changes, you don’t want it enough. And that’s what it comes down to. Whether it’s a relationship, and you’re not putting in enough effort and saying “I don’t have time” or “I live to far” or making other excuses, it comes down to, you don’t feel it’s worth it enough (& if this is the case, you need to either rethink it or let it go so you’re not being selfish!) Anyone can say “I don’t have time”. Who has time? No one has time. You have to MAKE time for things you care about. If you want to attend college, what’s holding you back? If you can go out and party until 3 am and drink all night, and go to work the next day, there’s no reason you cannot study at night to work towards your degree. 10 years time passes fast. Everyone does things differently, but from what I’ve gotten from a number of different people, is “Time flies.” You have all these plans to do something, and you don’t realize the time is gone and you find yourself with more serious commitments and “not the time”.

School is just an example. So if you got all these excuses, it’s because you don’t want it enough. I’ve seen people from both sides of the spectrum. Those who worked their booty off to pay for school/avoid loans, finish their degree, and work a little harder and pull through to find a career. Then, they saved up a little money, and pursued their dreams. Others I know who have just a high school education. My good friends, and good people, but I’ve watched and seen the same excuses play over and over…”I’m going back to school…” “Next semester…” “I have to work…it’s work or school…” and then the time passes and they realize “It’s too late” (although it never is…it might just be harder at a later point in life). These are some of the people who have told me get done with all of your schooling young so you can move to bigger and better things in later life 🙂 Great advice!

If you have goals that you want to achieve, whether it be eating healthy, attending school, starting a business, etc., start making changes now. Make the COMMITMENT now and start making changes ASAP! Time management is key…remember, anything is possible…if you want it enough.

Wisdom from Our Elders

Probably my favorite from Mr. Ian K. Smith:

Wisdom from Our Elders

Don’t waste time worrying about things you can’t control.

You can’t fight every battle. Choose which ones are worth fighting and let the others go.

When deciding on a life partner, think about whether this is the person you want to grow old with, not someone who just satisfies you now.

Surround yourself with good people. Goodness is contagious.

Don’t love only from your heart. Love also from your head.

Live your life to the fullest. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

Enjoy even the smallest of life’s blessings. You never know when the next one is coming.

The best way to receive is to give.

Happiness is a happy home.

My take:

These are really great ways to start improving your life — early! What people have taken ages to learn is right before your eyes. Start being more positive, easy-going, and happy today 🙂 Hope you liked this as much as I did, real good tips.

Don’t Ignore Problems!

“Face Conflict Head-On

No matter what your career dream, it will at some point cause conflict in your home life. It is easier to pretend these conflicts do not exist or to dodge the matter whenever possible. But ignoring conflict doesn’t make it go away; it just feeds the conflict and makes it worse.

Discuss conflicts between your work life and your home life because that is the only way you can make the situation better.

The Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education teaches people that the surest path to resentment, strain, and relationship disaster is the complete absence of disagreements. Having no disagreements means you aren’t saying what you think and feel and that emotions will simmer within you until they reach a boil.

One of the coalition’s main lessons is that in any relationship there are “ten irreconcilable differences.” According to Dian Sollee, the director of the coalition, “The problem for most people is that they don’t recognize that differences are inevitable and should be talked about, and theyinstead seek refuge from another relationship. Of course, their new relationship will have ten new irreconcilable differences, and the pattern will just be repeated.”

Healthy relationships are successful, not because people have fewer disagreements, but because they apply problem-solving skills to arguments. Dianne says, “Instead of an emphasis on healthy relationships is on what can be done to improve the situation for everyone involved.”

Two-career couples were 56% more likely to express satisfaction with their marriage when they did not avoid dealing with conflict and disagreements brought on by their work schedules. – Howell 1999″

 

My Take:

Keep everything out in the open and make it a point to communicate! This way, there is no room for misunderstandings.