Failure Is Not Trying

“When asked to describe significant regrets in their lives, more than eight out of ten people focused on actions they did not take rather than actions they did. In other words, they focused on things they failed to do rather than things they failed at doing. Ricaurte 1999”


My Take: If you have the chance to, just do it…better knowing you tried and the outcome rather than not trying at all!!




A Few Tips for Success!

Here’s more from the collection of Simple Secrets I had began posting (but only the secrets I thought were best!):

“Own What You Do

It doesn’t matter if you run a company or sort letters in the mail room; succeeding in what you do starts with taking ownership of the task.
You do it, therefore you do it well.

It doesn’t matter what other people are doing or what senseless roadblocks are placed in your way by dumb policies or ill-chosen leaders. What you do represents you ability, commitment, and, ultimately, your potential to do something more.

*I do not own this image*

Don’t Settle

People don’t buy houses or cars if they’re not sure about every detail. It’s too important to rush into that kind of commitment.
But how many of us toil in jobs that we don’t think are right for us?

You will spend more time between the ages of 25 and 65 working than you will spend doing anything other than sleeping. Your job not only will define possibilities for your future, it may also come to define you.

Never stop thinking about what you need to do to love what you do.

Even though they may not want to, people tend to take their jobs home with them at the end of the day. Low levels of career interest are associated with low enjoyment of life overall and even greater dissatisfaction with family life. O’Brien, Martinez-Pons, and Kopala 1999.

*I do not own this image*

What Is the Point?

If you could pick one thing you most wanted out of your job and your life, what would it be?

While many of us chase money, prestige, and recognition, the single most important thing you can achieve is meaning. Having a purpose in everything you do makes every day valuable and every outcome, good or bad, worthwhile.

Feeling there is meaning in your life is 8x more likely to produce satisfaction than is a high income. King and Napa 1998

*I do not own this image*

Your Goals Must Engage All of You

To pursue something difficult you will need commitment, focus, and confidence. You will need the promise of gaining a significant outcome and a sense of fulfillment.

If your goals do not move you, if they do not inspire and incite you to action, then you have not found the right goals.

*I do not own this image*

Take Action

Those who do not feel they are taking steps toward their goals are five times more likely to give up and three times less likely to feel satisfied with their lives. Elliott 1999″

*I do not own this image*

Be Honest for Your Future

Be Honest for Your Future

Few things are easier to lie about than the future. And few people are easier to lie to than ourselves.

It is therefore not surprising that people spend lifetimes lying to themselves about where they’re going and why. It’s easier to put off doing something difficult, and it’s comforting to tell ourselves that we’ll get around to it later.

But lying to ourselves about our goals is like paying off a loan by taking out an even bigger loan. It makes today easier, but makes tomorrow more difficult.

“People who consider their careers to have been successful are 81% less likely to have exaggerated their career plans when they were younger.” Ingram 1998″

If You’re Not Changing…You Don’t Want It Enough

Change Is Possible, Not Easy

Commercials on TV tell you all the time that you can change yourself. In thirty seconds, the commercial actors can get smarter, thinner, prettier, richer. But this fantasy world only sets us up for a fall.

We hear about the possibilities for wonderful changes people can make in their lives, and we want to duplicate those results. When we try and are not quickly regarded, we actually wind up feeling worse than we did before we started.

The problem is, of course, that change is possible, but it does not come immediately. Nobody want to sell us a program for change that will take years because of course no one would buy it. But it does take years to accomplish the most important changes.

When you entered the first grade, you didn’t expect to learn a second language, algebra, and the history of the War of 1812 all in the first week. You began an education that took more than a decade and provided you with incredible positive change.

Positive change in your life will not be finished today, but it can start today.

The decision to make a change offers wonderful feelings of control and optimism, but those are short-lived if the change is not accomplished. Repeated efforts at self-change, characterized by an expectation of an unrealistically high payoff in an unrealistically short time, actually reduce satisfaction with our lives by 40%. Polivy and Herman 2000.”

[From 100 Simple Secrets Series]

My Take:

Arright, forreally tho, here’s my take. If you’re not making changes, you don’t want it enough. And that’s what it comes down to. Whether it’s a relationship, and you’re not putting in enough effort and saying “I don’t have time” or “I live to far” or making other excuses, it comes down to, you don’t feel it’s worth it enough (& if this is the case, you need to either rethink it or let it go so you’re not being selfish!) Anyone can say “I don’t have time”. Who has time? No one has time. You have to MAKE time for things you care about. If you want to attend college, what’s holding you back? If you can go out and party until 3 am and drink all night, and go to work the next day, there’s no reason you cannot study at night to work towards your degree. 10 years time passes fast. Everyone does things differently, but from what I’ve gotten from a number of different people, is “Time flies.” You have all these plans to do something, and you don’t realize the time is gone and you find yourself with more serious commitments and “not the time”.

School is just an example. So if you got all these excuses, it’s because you don’t want it enough. I’ve seen people from both sides of the spectrum. Those who worked their booty off to pay for school/avoid loans, finish their degree, and work a little harder and pull through to find a career. Then, they saved up a little money, and pursued their dreams. Others I know who have just a high school education. My good friends, and good people, but I’ve watched and seen the same excuses play over and over…”I’m going back to school…” “Next semester…” “I have to work…it’s work or school…” and then the time passes and they realize “It’s too late” (although it never is…it might just be harder at a later point in life). These are some of the people who have told me get done with all of your schooling young so you can move to bigger and better things in later life 🙂 Great advice!

If you have goals that you want to achieve, whether it be eating healthy, attending school, starting a business, etc., start making changes now. Make the COMMITMENT now and start making changes ASAP! Time management is key…remember, anything is possible…if you want it enough.

Meaningful Ways to Spend Money on Others

The last list from Ian K. Smith!

Purchase a dress or pants and a shirt for a toddler and give it to a family that needs it.

Trying to figure out what the 2nd to last item is…

Anonymously donate to a church a holiday gift that will be distributed to the less fortunate.

Purchase lunch for a colleague.

Purchase a toy for a sibling or a child in your community.

Quietly slip $10 (or more if you can afford it) to someone who needs it.

Offer to pay for the groceries of someone who is standing in the checkout line.

Find a charity whose mission you would like to support and donate money.

Purchase several books and donate them to a classroom.

Help pay for the school tuition of someone else’s child.

Send a gift basket and words of encouragement to someone who might be having a difficult time.

My Take:

I may have mentioned before, I prefer giving over receiving! When I compare the satisfaction of getting myself something, over doing something for someone else, it always feels good knowing you’re making someone else happy. I just got a new job, and the first thing I did was get some gifts–for two important people in my life! I didn’t even feel the need to spoil myself after that. I think I got this trait from my mom and grandmother. My grandmother was ALWAYS so giving to EVERYONE! She was the sweetest lady, so welcoming, and full of positive energy. If I ever liked anything, she wouldn’t hesitate a second to offer it to me. And it wasn’t just me–she showed love to everyone! And I’m pretty damn sure that being a selfless person is what made her truly happy (of course, I assume she was at peace with herself first!) I love you biji! 🙂

I really like the idea of a gift basket…so many possibilities! Fruits, spa things, books, candles, anything!

Some other ideas off the top of my head: take someone out to dinner and give them a nice “Just Because” card with flowers, go mini-golfing or to an arcade, go to the movies, plan a picnic, go to an amusement park, check out a museum, or take a mini-road trip. Alright, this is starting to sound like my ideal dates…but really, you can do these things with anyone you care about!

I recently got a nice gift for someone, made lunch, and a few other things…I was soooo excited! But then I was let down a little bit (okay I was pretty sad and got my feelings hurt a lil bit) at the lack of appreciation…but later I realized, it’s the thought that counts…and I made an effort and had a really good time picking it out and putting stuff together! So remember, even if your nice gesture is not appreciated, but the fact that you did it–that’s what counts and makes YOU a good person!

These are all great ideas, but if you don’t have extra $, you can always make a card, prepare a meal, or something for someone else (you can also check out my blog on Anonymous Acts of Kindness for additional ideas).

Perfect way to get into the holiday spirit 🙂

Simple Steps to Develop a Spiritual Life

More from Ian K. Smith, M.D.:

Set aside at least a few quiet minutes every day to say a prayer.

Think of five ways that you can improve the conditions of those around you.

Practice finding the good in others and in difficult situations.

Love others not just in words or thoughts but through the generosity of actions.

Humbly accept and honor the concept of your relatively smaller place within a greater and bigger universe.

Spend at least an hour during the day focusing on good thoughts and positive energy.

Release anger and grudges you still have in your heart from past misdeeds.

Make a practice of doing good things for others on a regular basis.

Ask others about their struggles and triumphs. Make a real investment in the lives and well-being of those around you.

Recognize that there is a higher force in your life. While you may not be able to see, define, or touch it, recognize its presence and vast capabilities.

My Take:

You don’t have to be religious…I feel being spiritual is just a form of finding peace within yourself. Don’t knock it until you try it!

Wisdom from Our Elders

Probably my favorite from Mr. Ian K. Smith:

Wisdom from Our Elders

Don’t waste time worrying about things you can’t control.

You can’t fight every battle. Choose which ones are worth fighting and let the others go.

When deciding on a life partner, think about whether this is the person you want to grow old with, not someone who just satisfies you now.

Surround yourself with good people. Goodness is contagious.

Don’t love only from your heart. Love also from your head.

Live your life to the fullest. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

Enjoy even the smallest of life’s blessings. You never know when the next one is coming.

The best way to receive is to give.

Happiness is a happy home.

My take:

These are really great ways to start improving your life — early! What people have taken ages to learn is right before your eyes. Start being more positive, easy-going, and happy today 🙂 Hope you liked this as much as I did, real good tips.