“There Is Plenty Of Time”

There Is Plenty of Time

Whatever our dreams are, we practically hear a clock ticking. Our family, our friends, even the media all make us wonder when we are finally going to be “there” and why we aren’t there yet.

But there are no age restrictions on success. It takes as long as it takes, and when you reach it, you won’t reject success because you’re not the right age for it.

Age is unrelated to people’s commitment to their job and their level of job performance. Tuuli and Karisalmi 1999″

My Take: Never look back and say I wish I had done this if you still can…time is something that only moves forward, so make the changes to get to where you want to be in the future, now 🙂 Or at least start! You can do it, I believe in you.

*I do not own this image"

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A Few Tips for Success!

Here’s more from the collection of Simple Secrets I had began posting (but only the secrets I thought were best!):

“Own What You Do

It doesn’t matter if you run a company or sort letters in the mail room; succeeding in what you do starts with taking ownership of the task.
You do it, therefore you do it well.

It doesn’t matter what other people are doing or what senseless roadblocks are placed in your way by dumb policies or ill-chosen leaders. What you do represents you ability, commitment, and, ultimately, your potential to do something more.

*I do not own this image*

Don’t Settle

People don’t buy houses or cars if they’re not sure about every detail. It’s too important to rush into that kind of commitment.
But how many of us toil in jobs that we don’t think are right for us?

You will spend more time between the ages of 25 and 65 working than you will spend doing anything other than sleeping. Your job not only will define possibilities for your future, it may also come to define you.

Never stop thinking about what you need to do to love what you do.

Even though they may not want to, people tend to take their jobs home with them at the end of the day. Low levels of career interest are associated with low enjoyment of life overall and even greater dissatisfaction with family life. O’Brien, Martinez-Pons, and Kopala 1999.

*I do not own this image*

What Is the Point?

If you could pick one thing you most wanted out of your job and your life, what would it be?

While many of us chase money, prestige, and recognition, the single most important thing you can achieve is meaning. Having a purpose in everything you do makes every day valuable and every outcome, good or bad, worthwhile.

Feeling there is meaning in your life is 8x more likely to produce satisfaction than is a high income. King and Napa 1998

*I do not own this image*

Your Goals Must Engage All of You

To pursue something difficult you will need commitment, focus, and confidence. You will need the promise of gaining a significant outcome and a sense of fulfillment.

If your goals do not move you, if they do not inspire and incite you to action, then you have not found the right goals.

*I do not own this image*

Take Action

Those who do not feel they are taking steps toward their goals are five times more likely to give up and three times less likely to feel satisfied with their lives. Elliott 1999″

*I do not own this image*

Be Honest for Your Future

Be Honest for Your Future

Few things are easier to lie about than the future. And few people are easier to lie to than ourselves.

It is therefore not surprising that people spend lifetimes lying to themselves about where they’re going and why. It’s easier to put off doing something difficult, and it’s comforting to tell ourselves that we’ll get around to it later.

But lying to ourselves about our goals is like paying off a loan by taking out an even bigger loan. It makes today easier, but makes tomorrow more difficult.

“People who consider their careers to have been successful are 81% less likely to have exaggerated their career plans when they were younger.” Ingram 1998″

If You’re Not Changing…You Don’t Want It Enough

Change Is Possible, Not Easy

Commercials on TV tell you all the time that you can change yourself. In thirty seconds, the commercial actors can get smarter, thinner, prettier, richer. But this fantasy world only sets us up for a fall.

We hear about the possibilities for wonderful changes people can make in their lives, and we want to duplicate those results. When we try and are not quickly regarded, we actually wind up feeling worse than we did before we started.

The problem is, of course, that change is possible, but it does not come immediately. Nobody want to sell us a program for change that will take years because of course no one would buy it. But it does take years to accomplish the most important changes.

When you entered the first grade, you didn’t expect to learn a second language, algebra, and the history of the War of 1812 all in the first week. You began an education that took more than a decade and provided you with incredible positive change.

Positive change in your life will not be finished today, but it can start today.

The decision to make a change offers wonderful feelings of control and optimism, but those are short-lived if the change is not accomplished. Repeated efforts at self-change, characterized by an expectation of an unrealistically high payoff in an unrealistically short time, actually reduce satisfaction with our lives by 40%. Polivy and Herman 2000.”

[From 100 Simple Secrets Series]

My Take:

Arright, forreally tho, here’s my take. If you’re not making changes, you don’t want it enough. And that’s what it comes down to. Whether it’s a relationship, and you’re not putting in enough effort and saying “I don’t have time” or “I live to far” or making other excuses, it comes down to, you don’t feel it’s worth it enough (& if this is the case, you need to either rethink it or let it go so you’re not being selfish!) Anyone can say “I don’t have time”. Who has time? No one has time. You have to MAKE time for things you care about. If you want to attend college, what’s holding you back? If you can go out and party until 3 am and drink all night, and go to work the next day, there’s no reason you cannot study at night to work towards your degree. 10 years time passes fast. Everyone does things differently, but from what I’ve gotten from a number of different people, is “Time flies.” You have all these plans to do something, and you don’t realize the time is gone and you find yourself with more serious commitments and “not the time”.

School is just an example. So if you got all these excuses, it’s because you don’t want it enough. I’ve seen people from both sides of the spectrum. Those who worked their booty off to pay for school/avoid loans, finish their degree, and work a little harder and pull through to find a career. Then, they saved up a little money, and pursued their dreams. Others I know who have just a high school education. My good friends, and good people, but I’ve watched and seen the same excuses play over and over…”I’m going back to school…” “Next semester…” “I have to work…it’s work or school…” and then the time passes and they realize “It’s too late” (although it never is…it might just be harder at a later point in life). These are some of the people who have told me get done with all of your schooling young so you can move to bigger and better things in later life 🙂 Great advice!

If you have goals that you want to achieve, whether it be eating healthy, attending school, starting a business, etc., start making changes now. Make the COMMITMENT now and start making changes ASAP! Time management is key…remember, anything is possible…if you want it enough.

Don’t Ignore Problems!

“Face Conflict Head-On

No matter what your career dream, it will at some point cause conflict in your home life. It is easier to pretend these conflicts do not exist or to dodge the matter whenever possible. But ignoring conflict doesn’t make it go away; it just feeds the conflict and makes it worse.

Discuss conflicts between your work life and your home life because that is the only way you can make the situation better.

The Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education teaches people that the surest path to resentment, strain, and relationship disaster is the complete absence of disagreements. Having no disagreements means you aren’t saying what you think and feel and that emotions will simmer within you until they reach a boil.

One of the coalition’s main lessons is that in any relationship there are “ten irreconcilable differences.” According to Dian Sollee, the director of the coalition, “The problem for most people is that they don’t recognize that differences are inevitable and should be talked about, and theyinstead seek refuge from another relationship. Of course, their new relationship will have ten new irreconcilable differences, and the pattern will just be repeated.”

Healthy relationships are successful, not because people have fewer disagreements, but because they apply problem-solving skills to arguments. Dianne says, “Instead of an emphasis on healthy relationships is on what can be done to improve the situation for everyone involved.”

Two-career couples were 56% more likely to express satisfaction with their marriage when they did not avoid dealing with conflict and disagreements brought on by their work schedules. – Howell 1999″

 

My Take:

Keep everything out in the open and make it a point to communicate! This way, there is no room for misunderstandings. 

Keep Your Head Up

“You’ll Get Knocked Down and Then Get Back Up

So many outcomes seem out of our control. Decisions are made that change our companies, our jobs, our lives—decisions we feel helpless to affect.

But if you can accept some uncertainty and believe in yourself, there will always be alternatives available to you. You will always have a choice no matter what the situation.

When layoffs are announced, everybody is disappointed. But some people aer overcome with woe while others are thinking of the next step. Self-image and acceptance of risk accounted for more than half of the reaction of workers who faced significant change in the workplace and were more important than the nature of the changes themselves. Judege, Thoresen, Pucik, and Welbourne 1999″

“Find Your Own Path”

…continued from the same book…still more to come!

“Find Your Own Path.

Watch cars come off the assembly line, and you will see the same functions and capabilities in model after model. That’s what they’re designed for, that’s how they’re made. We buy them with the expectation that each will do the same thing, and the individual differences between cars are significant or nonexistent. 

People, however, are not products off an assembly line. Even when we emerge from teh same time and place, with the same training and upbringing, our differences are present from the start and will be present forever.

Before you try to live up to someone else’s expectations, or reproduce someone else’s success, ask yourself whether that is what you were really made for.”

My Take:

This was a great read overall, but parts like this one stood out the most–especially because I can relate. My whole life was basically set in stone; I was to be a veterinarian since I loved animals so much since I was able to walk. Right out of high school, I attended Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo’s rigorous pre-veterinary program. I was out in the labs with livestock (which I had not expected…I was thinking more along the lines of dogs and cats!), studying hard, etc.

Halfway through, I realized…I don’t want to do this.

This was equivalent to a 10.0+ earthquake (described as “Massive/Epic” on the Richter scale) in my family. For those of you who may not know, Indians are incredibly status driven. Doctors and engineers get the gold medals. So in a sense, I feel I may have shattered my parents dreams…of me becoming a veterinarian.

Was it scary? Yes. Do I regret it? No.

I did not want to do it, and I would not have been happy. 

I graduated 1 year ago (Aug 2011), with a degree in animal science and minor in wine and viticulture. 2 science programs at one of the best universities in the country. It was a rough ride, but well worth it. Now, did I use my degree? No. Even better for my parents, what were they going to do with me? Moreover, what were they going to tell other people?! (If you’re Indian, you know how relevant that is).

I took a year off. Another hit. I needed a break! I was burnt out from 5 years of non-stop school, including summers, and again, a B.S. is much harder than a B.A. due to the labs — more time consuming. I took the GRE, applied to schools, got into a program that only accepted 15 people a year (Environmental Science program). Did I go? No. Of course at this point, the countless aunties had been calling around being nosey asking what I’m doing etc., and of course, at this point, everyone thinks I’m stupid (yes, just because I’m not doing something status-driven; but I could care less because I know what I’ve accomplished thus far and it wasn’t a walk in the park…I especially how the ones who have no education whatsoever can compare their R.N. children to me & make my parents feel like I’m a failure. Tards…I choose not be in a nasty environment surrounded by sick people and work in a closed dwelling. Not my thang, but props to those of you who can do it!) & I’m “sitting aruond at home”. Things just kept looking worse and worse and I knew I was starting to worry my parents. 

Now? Now I’ve finally decided & been admitted & will be going to a Kinesiology graduate program for my M.S. It’s been a long journey of ups and downs and actually is just beginning. Now the questions come of what will I  do with this degree…and I know I will do something great (whether or not I use my degree I hate to mention!) because I will find and pursue my passion! 

Moral of the story — people may not be happy with your decisions, but it is your decision. If you are taking actions, you are progressing. It’s hard to fathom how difficult it’s going to be telling your parents, especially if you’re going to be living at home and spent a long time looking for and failing to find a job (I blame the economy and my refusal to work on weekends…), but in the end, they will learn to accept your decision and ultimately you will be happier once you do what you believe in!

~There’s no doubt you cannot succeed in what you love. It’s the drive that gets you there.~ 

I do not own this picture